You Can’t Kill the Rooster - “Use the word y’all and, before you knew it, you’d find yourself in a haystack French-kissing an underage goat.”
Three - A trio of the best Sedaris stories including The Youth in Asia, Jesus Shaves and Giant Dreams, Midget Abilities
Old Lady Down the Hall - Her name was Rocky. She was my neighbor. I hated her guts. She was my best friend.
Undecided Voters -“Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”
The Man Upstairs - “What religious people call fate, I call luck, and what they call God’s will, I call bad luck.”
Journey Into Night - “That’s Business Elite for you. Spend eight thousand dollars on a ticket and, if you want an extra thirteen cents’ worth of ice cream, all you have to do is ask.”
The Man Who Mistook His Hat for a Meal - “My father has always had some questionable eating habits, but this is getting ridiculous.”
Laugh, Kookaburra -“One burner represents your family, one is your friends, the third is your health, and the fourth is your work. In order to be successful you have to cut off one of your burners.”
Guy Walks into a Bar Car - “We’ll kiss … now, I kept thinking. Then, O.K… . now. And on it went, more torturous by the second.”
Six to Eight Black Men - “The words silly and unrealistic were redefined when I learned that, in Holland, Saint Nicholas travels with what was consistently described as “six to eight black men.”
When people tell you to “get some perspective” what they’re really saying is “stop feeling things and stop being a human.”
There’s no question that perspective is important and it’s crucial to be aware of the vastness of our world, the varieties of people and where they come from and what they do…
Every year ‘round this time, instead of sending out Christmas cards, I like to draw a minicomic about some aspect of weird Christmas history. So, here’s a couple WIP panels from this year’s mini, which is all about how a lot of early American Christians (the pilgrims included!) all HATED Christmas, decried it as a sinful pagan/satanic ritual, and went to all sorts of crazy lengths to keep anybody from celebrating it. (So next time somebody gets in your face about the War On Christmas, go ahead and remind them that Christians themselves are the original Christmas-haters!)
If anybody’s interested in reading the whole 8-page minicomic, in the spirit of this terrible evil pagan devil holiday, I’m going to be printing up some extra copies and putting them up for sale on Gumroad this Monday on a pay-what-you-want basis. So keep yer eyes peeled, if Christians Destroying Christmas sounds like your kinda thing!
The pianist Alice Herz-Sommer is celebrating her hundred-and-tenth birthday today. She is the oldest living Holocaust survivor.